I was having a discussion about economics with Stanza over at CookingOnSundays, who mentioned the Big Mac Index, which is a method of measuring the purchasing power parity of various currencies by comparing the price of a Big Mac in each country. This got me thinking (of course) about the global infiltration of onions (contained within the Big Mac). It occurs to me that no matter the nationality, if you go look through all the cook books in a book store, unless you are looking at desserts, somewhere in the neighborhood of 90-95% of the recipes contain some form of onion. Unlike the Big Mac, the onion has no branding or sacred cow liabilities, no foreign connotations, and as unbelievable as it may seem,  has managed to infiltrate more places than McDonalds and Starbucks combined. Onions like to keep a low profile. They don't like to be mentioned on labels. As much as my eyes water just thinking about it, perhaps if we could get them more recognition as the perfect purchasing power parity predictor, we could get them noticed for the overused sub-par filler they are. Update: Due to the attention this post has getting, I did  a bit more looking into it ...

These are my favorite fresh pepper. They are fire engine red, and they earn the color. Fresno peppers look a lot like a red jalapeño, but a bit more triangular and less dense. Their flavor is not that different than a red bell, although a bit smokier, and they hold up well to cooking. The heat varies quite a bit, from something you could eat raw if you have a moderate heat tolerance, to something that gives a habanero a run for its money. To prepare them, circumscribe the top , just above the widest point and pull on the stem. Toss the cap and pry out the seed clump if it remained in the pepper. Stick  your knife tip down into the open end of the pepper and rotate it a full turn to knock off any additional seeds and shake the seeds out. Slice the pepper into little rounds. If you get the hang of this you can cut them without ever touching anything spicy. You will learn the importance of this quickly if you rub your eyes. There is something special about the heat in this pepper. To see what I mean, try placing a liberal coat of fresno pepper slices ...

I don't think they exist. Or at least I didn't until recently. Stanza , over at cookingonsundays, has a typically eyebrow raising recipe up this week, which includes a cabbage so large, well, I can't really say since it seems to change size throughout the story, but I'm certain it is bigger than a teapot! I too found a V.O.U.S. this year. It was a giant mangle beet from a farmers market. It only cost me a few bucks, and it was around 18 pounds! You can see Kernal subduing it for me in the above picture. I did a bit of research, and apparently mangle beets are grown mostly as fodder for animals like cattle, but are quite edible. After carrying it home on my shoulder like some prehistoric vegetarian, I chopped it into three pieces. The bottom I juiced and froze in ziplocks for future soup base. The middle I gave to the chickens, who happily stood inside it and hollowed it out. The top I planted, in the hopes that it would grow into a new beet next year. So far, so good.

I'm sure this is violating someones parole, but here we have Snoop making mashed potatoes with Martha Stewart. I'm not sure which recipe would kill you faster, but I think I'm with Snoop. He may have some unconventional additives, but come on Martha, white pepper? Yuck. Try the black. You won't go back.

A blend of my own devising, the Five Pillars of Greatness are like the Army in my war on the Allium menace; first in and last out. I use it in some form in over half of the main dishes I prepare. I don't keep it as a blend, I just reserve a section of the spice cabinet for the unground components, and mix and grind them on demand. I vary the relative quantities, but here is a general starting point:   Cardamon: 1 part (brightness and good cheer) Pink peppercorns: 6 parts (central aroma and top note) Cumin 4 parts (richness and breadth) Cubeb: 4 parts (depth and complexity) Pequin peppers: 5 parts (fire and brimstone) One recipe I'll post here because it is both simple and extremely specialized. This one is only good for Taco Bell tacos or similar fast food. Add 1 tbsp of Five Pillars to three packets of Taco Bell fire packets. The resulting napalm is tasty enough on tacos to make sure those grons never come back!

These cheerful little dried berries are the red things you see in all those multi colored pepper blends. As far as I'm concerned, those blends were put together by someone who noticed that they were all called pepper and looked pretty next to each other. There is no way I would have come up with that blend for flavor purposes. Pink peppercorns are an awesome spice, and the soul of my Five Pillars of Greatness blend. They have a thin bright red shell over what looks like a little peppercorn, but there the resemblance ends. their flavor is somewhere between juniper and the sweet part of pomegranate. Their flavor comes through, but it is hard to overpower a dish with them, so use them liberally. buy them unground, and add them late in the cooking process for full potency.

This is one of my favorite spices. Cardamon always brings to mind thoughts of my grandmothers Finnish pulla bread, and holidays spent inside near a crackling fire with good company. It is the sweet good cheer in my Five Pillars of Greatness blend, and used sparingly in a lot of my cooking. It is versatile enough to be used in anything from serious meaty dishes to light deserts, with a flavor reminiscent of true cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg, but with with none of the bite. I use the green, but I find the pods to be more trouble than they are worth for most applications. The ground product loses flavor fast. Buy it in seed form and grind on demand.

Johnson and Johnson has released a new "Nothing But Tears" line of Shampoo this week aimed at toughening up newborns. According to TheOnion, ""Nothing But Tears" shampoo contains only the most abrasive of natural ingredients". I think it is clear what their ingredients list contains. Onions! My evidence?   It is natural and causes tears. It is being reported by the Onion; clearly a biased publication. It isn't listed in their advertising as an ingredient. Where will it end?